Don’t Trust Your Counselor

You read that correctly.  You don’t need your eye prescription checked.  Don’t trust your counselor!

Clients are ever so ready to surrender their power to a therapist.  Part of me can understand this.  After all, they sought out help because they are stuck, at least in one area of their life.  Being stuck, however, is different from being broken.  They are not broken.  I expanded upon this in a recent FaceBook post.

Everyone gets stuck at times.  It’s actually a good sign.  It means you’re living life.  You’re “in the arena.”  If anything, pat yourself on the back for your engagement with life.  And while you’re at it, pat yourself on the back for seeking temporary help to get unstuck.  Please note I said temporary.  If you’re seeing a counselor long-term, month after month, year after year, you’re seeing the wrong therapist.

Counseling should be a process to help you get on with life.  Briefly and gracefully.  If it becomes long-term work, it’s serving the mental health system, not you.

Don’t trust your counselor.  They  are human.  They are fallible.  They can miss things.  They can make mistakes.  Their skill sets aren’t all encompassing.  You get the drift – don’t surrender your power, your sovereignty to a counselor.

Beware the counselor who, however inadvertently or deliberately, tries to impose their beliefs on you.  There is not one way to be.  There is not one way to be in a relationship.    There is not one way to live.

I believe the counselors job is to “return you to yourself.”  Everyone has their own higher order or higher wisdom, if you will.  It is unique to each individual.  My job, I believe any therapists job, is to help you access the unique wisdom you inherently possess.  This wisdom encompasses a subtle, graceful, yet profound power.  This power  allows you to quickly “re-calibrate” or get back on track.  Your track.

For the life of me, I don’t understand any therapists hesitancy to trust a clients inner resources, to access these resources.  I remember driving home after a challenging session.  Sexual abuse, physical abuse, family suicides, depression, severe anxiety …  I was feeling overwhelmed.  Fortunately, I remembered the client possessed there own unique resources that had the power to gracefully get them back in alignment.  I certainly didn’t trust myself to do this for them.  I did, however, trust them.  All I had to do was access their inherent resources.

Test the waters.  Does the counselor feel like a good fit?  Are they effective?  Are they helping you evolve past your issue?  This is big.  Don’t continue seeing a counselor just because they know your history or because you like him or her.  Once again, are they effective?  This is paramount.

Don’t trust your counselor.  Trust yourself.

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